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Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie attempt to help Chris improve his dating game. Sun, Jan 13, 30 mins. The Griffins move to Washington, D. Sun, Feb 10, 30 mins. Brian worries about the legacy he's leaving behind, so Stewie makes a robot duplicate as a living biography.
Sun, Feb 17, 30 mins. Peter is mistakenly identified as transgender, which leads to an unexpected event and an important learning lesson.
Sun, Mar 3, 30 mins. After a mishap at work, Peter decides to take his health more seriously and diet with the help of Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland. When Lois takes a stab at writing a romantic fantasy novel, a curious Brian and Stewie investigate to find out who she might have a crush on. Sun, Mar 10, 28 mins. The guys volunteer to chaperone the high-school prom, where Quagmire hits it off with Courtney only to discover that she is his daughter.
To his and the gang's surprise, Quagmire makes a serious effort to embrace parenting Courtney, joining Peter and Meg on an ill-fated father-daughter camping trip. Sun, Mar 24, 30 mins. Sun, Mar 31, 30 mins. Word quickly spreads about the alleged cache, sparking a city-wide search and turning the citizens of Quahog against each other.
Peter discovers that he has a vestigial twin, whom he names Chip, growing out of his neck. It's not long before Peter resents the fact that everyone seems to love Chip more than him, so he decides to amputate his twin. However, when Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever. Quagmire begins dating a sexually insatiable woman who kidnaps him to become her sex slave, so Peter, Joe and Quagmire's dad scour Quahog's seedy back alleys to locate and save him.
Meanwhile, Stewie, Brian and Stewie's teddy bear, Rupert, become involved in an odd love triangle. Meg spills her lunch on the new kid, Michael, who is appropriately nicknamed "Mental Mike. Meanwhile, Peter continually harasses Brian in the nude until it escalates to the breaking point.
The Griffins take a trip to Italy and are forced to deal with annoying immigration laws after Peter destroys the family's passports.
When Stewie and Brian travel back to 17th Century Jamestown, via Stewie's time machine, they encounter too many close calls with altering the course of mankind.
Stewie decides to destroy his time machine, but immediately regrets his decision when an unthinkable event happens, and he is unable to go back in time. However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter's head. When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event.
Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas. When Peter finds he can't perform his, um, er, uh, manly duties, he enlists Quagmire and Joe to help him get his mojo back. When Brian's neglected son Dylan shows up in town as a teen TV star, Brian jumps at the opportunity to be hired on the show's writing staff instead of being a good father. Meanwhile, after Peter accidentally shoots Quagmire on a hunting trip, the two friends clash and Joe must choose a side.
After Peter's mother passes away, he forms a special friendship with her longtime pal, Evelyn, who attempts to seduce Peter. Meanwhile, Stewie is distraught when he understands the reality of death for the first time.
Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games. When Chris learns that he is the heir to Carter's fortune - but refuses to take the money - Peter takes drastic measures to keep the wealth in the family.
Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school. Brian gives Stewie an STD. Meanwhile, when another group claims their booth at The Drunken Clam, Peter and the guys must fight back. When Peter takes Stewie to the park for some quality father-son time, he mistakenly takes the wrong baby home, prompting Lois to call him an idiot.
Determined to prove to her that he's a responsible adult, Peter goes on a business trip to Chicago and returns as an intelligent, classy person. When Chris begins to date Jerome's daughter Pam, Jerome forbids it.
But when Chris and Pam run away together, Jerome and Peter must work together to find their kids. Meg has fun partying with Peter when he takes her to a college for an interview. Brian must learn how to live in the wild when he gets sprayed by a skunk and is prohibited from entering the house. Cleveland returns to town, but is instantly banned from spending time with Peter when Lois and Donna get into a big fight over parenting.
Peter and the Griffins get out of dodge and end up in Springfield, where they are greeted by a friendly stranger named Homer Simpson, who welcomes his new "albino" friends with open arms. The families get along famously: Stewie and Bart make out like bandits when Stewie trades in his mind control device for a good old-fashioned slingshot; Lisa takes Meg under her wing and teaches her the saxophone; and Peter and Homer fight over the best beer in town - Pawtucket vs Duff.
Peter helps Joe realize his dream of publishing a book, but things get out of hand when Peter takes over as the author. Meanwhile, Brian starts exercising to the extreme after experiencing a euphoric runner's high for the first time. Lois and Peter go into business together and open a cookie store, but things get messy when Peter comes up with his own way to get more customers. Brian's cosmetic surgery leads him down a new career path as a real estate agent, which gets him into trouble with Quagmire.
On the night before Thanksgiving, Brian and Peter drunkenly devour the holiday bird, and then must go out to find a replacement. In Peter's absence, Chris attempts to step up and become the man of the house. So, he enlists Quagmire and Cleveland to help him throw Jesus the best birthday ever by finding a way to help him become a man.
To help Chris ace his ninth grade history class, Stewie and Brian employ the time travel machine for educational purposes. Not surprisingly, all three get stuck in the past. Meg convinces Brian to take the SAT's for her, but when he tests poorly, they start to suspect that Brian might not be that smart after all. Peter decides to spend the day showing Brian the joys of being stupid and the benefits of having a low IQ.
Meg is thrilled to be recruited as a model, but it turns out to be for a very specific type of modeling: the foot-fetish industry. Meanwhile, Brian accompanies Stewie on an open-road adventure when Stewie decides he wants to experience life outside of preschool. Lois takes Peter to open a checking account, and they discover that his first name is actually Justin, which Peter adopts as the name of his younger "bro"-style alter-ego.
Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland form a neighborhood detective agency, and are stunned to discover that Chris is a thief.
Brian decides he doesn't want to hang out with Stewie anymore, so Stewie tries to save their relationship by having a baby Meanwhile, Peter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland attempt to make a viral video. Meg gets a new job at the airport, where she's instantly popular for being the hottest employee there. Meanwhile, Cleveland becomes a therapist and starts giving Peter and Lois relationship advice, but Peter quickly becomes frustrated and threatens to tell Donna a big secret about what went down at Cleveland's bachelor party.
Peter becomes a town hero for accidentally finding a missing boy. Meanwhile, Joe decides to live life to the fullest by quitting his job and taking a road trip to Niagara Falls with Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland.
After attending obedience school, Brian becomes much more submissive, and Peter realizes he misses his old, feistier pal. Meanwhile, Chris makes a new friend at school, but feels betrayed when he discovers it was all a ploy to get closer to Meg. Lois, all too familiar with the gossipy nature of women, tells Peter they are probably talking about him behind his back, and Peter soon discovers that Lois may be right.
Peter claims he would beat Liam Neeson in a fight, but when he is put to the test, he learns that winning is tougher than it seems. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes jealous when Lois decides to be a class mom and starts paying more attention to the other kids over him. Martin at a book convention. Meanwhile, Quagmire and Peter compete, Iron Chef-style, to determine which of them gets to keep his new cooking show.
But when Joe explains that his dad is intolerant of people with disabilities, Peter steps in and pretends to be Joe. Stewie doesn't like Brian's stand-up comedy jokes, so the two of them fight. To get back at Brian and make him jealous, Stewie builds a robot friend. But when the robot outsmarts Stewie and dumps him, Brian and Stewie reunite. Meanwhile, Lois forces Peter to get a new mattress. The guys go to an abandoned asylum seeking inspiration for a new horror movie idea, but end up accidentally killing a man they think is keeping them hostage.
Wracked with guilt, they each try to pin the murder on someone else. Meanwhile, Stewie is on a mission to destroy Brian's glasses because he's annoyed by how pretentious Brian's been acting when he wears them. Peter gets a check in the mail from the sale of his mother's home and he remembers that all of his old porn is still in there. When he returns to retrieve his stash, he finds a "to Peter from Peter" tape and realizes that his life has amounted to nothing.
Reeling from his own failures, Peter then attempts to fix Chris before it's too late, and forces his son to spend time with Brian. While Meg is at first amused, she later feels bad and decides to help Peter train to defeat his sister in a wrestling match. Quagmire admits that he is in love with Lois. Unfortunately, he proclaims his love while he has accidentally pocket-dialed Peter.
Peter is furious and Lois takes it upon herself to fix the situation. When Joe is trampled in a local running of the bulls and becomes a quadriplegic, the guys find it too difficult to hang around him.
Peter is then arrested and charged with a hate crime. Meanwhile, Cleveland is touched when Peter finally admits to the accident, so he takes the fall for the crime and Peter is exonerated. Unable to find the final tape of the series, the guys travel to Korea to find it and Quagmire is reunited with his old lover. When their bank accounts begin to run dry, the Griffins look for ways to make money.
Stewie gets cast in a peanut butter commercial and becomes the money maker for the family. Meanwhile, Lois and Peter become crazy show business parents and Brian helps Stewie realize that he does not want to be a child actor. The boys fall for an email scam, and have to go to Africa to get their money back. Peter learns about phone apps and overloads his phone with them. He buys a new phone with more memory and gives his old phone to Chris, which causes a series of horrible events.
Meanwhile, Stewie joins a tennis club and invites Brian to be his tennis partner. Mayor West raises the drinking age to Because of dog years, Brian is the only one old enough to buy alcohol, so Peter makes him buy all of his booze. Peter turns the attic into a man cave and all of the guys begin hanging out there, which makes Lois incredibly angry.
Meanwhile, Brian helps Stewie overcome his fears by building a device to go into his nightmares and defeat his demons. Brian kisses the wife of one of Peter's best friends. Meg begins working at a retirement community and starts stealing from the residents. Then Chris finds out and wants in on the heist. When the residents catch them, they blackmail them and force the thieves to listen to all of their boring stories. She finds a letter from Peter that was never sent to his old fling, Gretchen, dated a week before their marriage.
When Gretchen tries to come between Lois and Peter, Lois has a plan of her own. Peter gets lost in the mall overnight after his family abandons him. Meanwhile, Brian pretends to be a millionaire to win over a girl. However, Meg believes that the cool kids plan to prank him during the homecoming ceremony, so Brian and Stewie go to the school to investigate.
Meanwhile, Cleveland starts hanging out with Jerome, the bartender. So Peter and the guys try to win him back. Brian falls in love with a tech support worker in India, so he and Stewie travel there to find her. Meanwhile, Joe invites Peter to his bingo night, but when Peter becomes the new center of attention, Lois helps Joe reclaim the group.
Stewie and Brian form a children's band that quickly rises to fame until they let a girl get between them and drive the band apart.
Meanwhile, Peter and Lois insist that Chris gets a job so he takes a job managing Quagmire's sex life as his personal assistant. After the local airline pilots go on strike, Quagmire looks for new work and becomes a gigolo. When his clients begin to avoid paying for his services, he asks Peter for help getting his money. Meanwhile, Brian is kicked off Peter's health insurance, so he gets a job at a hardware store, until Stewie gets him fired and things get medical.
Taylor Swift agrees to go to a homecoming dance with Chris after he asks her via online video. However, when she starts to fall for him, her music takes a hit. Meanwhile, Peter decides to try a new profession and sees firsthand what it's like to be an Uber driver. In order to "save" Stewie from autism, Peter and Lois decide not to vaccinate him and then proceed to convince the rest of Quahog to follow suit.
Stewie runs away to save himself from diseases until Sean Penn swoops in to save the day and brings vaccines to the whole town. In an anthology episode, the cast reenacts three classic pieces of literature commonly taught in high school: "The Great Gatsby," "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and "Of Mice and Men".
Carter buys the Pawtucket Patriot brewery and decides to cut some corners to save a few bucks. Peter overhears the plan and runs and tells investigative journalist Tricia Takanawa about Carter's plan to use toxic chemicals in the beer cans. Meanwhile, Brian's drivers' license has expired and he enlists Stewie as an instructor.
Peter is asked to fill in for the mall Santa, until he gets drunk on the power when he realizes that Santa can get away with anything. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian crash holiday office parties for the free food, drama and women.
Quagmire scores free friends-and-family plane tickets for a guys' trip to San Francisco. However, after seeing the auto-pilot function, the boys doubt Quagmire's flying skills. Then, unforeseen events in the air put Quagmire's abilities to the test. Rob Gronkowski, of the New England Patriots, moves into the house behind the Griffins, and the guys enjoy partying with him until his antics become overwhelming.
Meanwhile, Stewie begins beekeeping and gives his bees steroids to produce more honey, but instead they become aggressive. The guys try to start a podcast, but Peter goes solo and branches out as a DJ. Quagmire discovers the "dating" app Tinder, forcing Peter, Joe and Cleveland to intervene and save him from his soul-sucking hedonism. Meanwhile, Stewie finds out that he has scoliosis and learns the perks of his latest diagnosis. Peter helps Joe out with several crime cases, but when Joe tries to take all the credit, Peter gets extremely angry.
Meanwhile, Brian convinces Stewie to join a football team and panics when he gets a concussion. In an attempt to avoid eating the healthy food that Lois forces him to eat, Peter opens up his own food truck with fattening foods. Meanwhile, Meg joins a roller derby team, despite Chris thinking it's too dangerous. Peter gets jealous of Lois when she upstages him at a Red Sox fantasy baseball camp. Meanwhile, Stewie runs away from home when Meg is left to babysit him.
Peter becomes the temporary principal at the high school, and Meg uses his new power to get even with her bullies. When Chris' Mexican girlfriend, Isabella, gets deported, he volunteers to take care of her twin babies. After learning that Isabella can't come back to the U. Peter's past as a sperm donor catches up to him when many of his children show up unannounced to his house. Peter becomes friends with a cool, handsome paramedic named Stryker Foxx.
Wrapped up in his newfound "coolness," he soon dumps Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland. The Griffins get a nanny for the kids, courtesy of Lois' parents, which gives Peter and Lois the opportunity to reconnect. After Chris gets a special one-dollar bill for his birthday and quickly loses it, the dollar gets passed from character to character throughout Quahog.
In a special anthology-style episode, Peter gets fired from his job at the brewery in the signature styles of three famous Hollywood film directors. When Brian posts an offensive tweet that goes viral and the rest of the Griffins are also treated as outcasts, he's forced to move out of the Griffin house. Peter discovers an alternate ending in the Russian version of one of his favorite films and writes to Vladimir Putin, who comes to Quahog.
Meanwhile, a strapped-for-cash Brian gets a job at a suicide hotline center and attempts to strike up a romance with a co-worker. Peter encourages Meg to attend a high school party, where she takes up drinking, which both concerns and delights her father. Meanwhile, Brian begins spying on his neighbors and suspects Principal Shepherd of a crime. A selfish Peter loses his Christmas spirit and is visited by ghosts of Christmas past, present and future who take him on a journey around Quahog in the style of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.
At the vet's office, Brian meets a female show dog named Ellie. Smitten with her, he enters a show dog competition, in which the winner gets to breed with her. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois go to extreme measures to try to convince Chris that "Arthur Valentine" doesn't exist.
Stewie and Brian get into a friendship-ending fight after Brian commits a terrible act to one of Stewie's beloved toys. Meanwhile, Peter refuses to wash his hand after meeting his favorite breakfast cereal mascot, Boo Berry.
Stewie gets sent to the office of his school's child psychologist, Dr. Cecil Pritchfield, after pushing one of his classmates. During the session, Stewie experiences a series of personal and emotional revelations about himself that fans will not want to miss. In a special Dickensian-themed episode, Stewie and Brian are detectives who embark on solving a string of mysterious murders set in Victorian-era London.
After Peter and the guys get caught pretending to be military veterans and are found guilty of the Stolen Valor Act, a judge sentences them to join the U. In "Bart Simpson's Dracula," the family turns into vampires, and Lisa sends Homer to the Burns mansion in an attempt to kill the head vampire. When Marge has a girls' night out with a new neighbor, they wind up roaring toward a cliff in a Thelma-and-Louise-style car chase.
Bart heckles the guru at a self-help seminar, and the man presents him to the audience as a role model for their "inner child. After a reckless Squishee bender with Milhouse, Bart wakes to the shocking realization that he joined the Junior Campers. Lured by pocketknives and knot-tying lessons, Bart assimilates into the group but then must face the father-son rafting trip. Homer struggles with his attraction to new coworker Mindy, a beautiful engineer whose love for doughnuts is equal to his own.
When gambling is legalized in Springfield, Mr. Burns opens an extravagant casino on the waterfront. Meanwhile, Bart opens a casino in his treehouse. Burns becomes a germ-phobic recluse and Homer must tear Marge away from the slot machines. When a cat burglar prowls Springfield, Homer forms a citizens' watch group that winds up breaking more laws than they protect.
When the cat burglar sets his sights on the world's biggest cubic zirconia, a clue comes from an unexpected source. Working as Krusty the Clown's assistant, Bart accidentally steals the limelight by blurting an instant catchphrase: "I didn't do it. Fired for selling tainted meat to Homer, Apu tries to make amends to the Simpsons, and Homer joins him in a pilgrimage to Kwik-E-Mart headquarters in India. Lisa is shocked to find that her new Malibu Stacy doll reinforces negative stereotypes of women.
With Smithers' help, Lisa tracks down the original creator of Malibu Stacy and convinces her to market a new doll that's a better role model for girls. Dejected by a lack of recognition at work, Homer makes a crank call to NASA and winds up being chosen to ride into space with astronauts. Homer and Flanders bond over a football game.
As the two friends become inseparable, Flanders struggles with a growing dislike of Homer that finally blows up in front of the entire church congregation. Bart wins a wacky radio contest and forgoes the cash to claim the gag prize instead: an elephant. The childless Mr. Burns selects Bart as his heir and begins grooming him for his new role. As a test of loyalty, Mr. Burns orders Bart to fire Homer. Skinner befriends his former nemesis and the pair look for a way to get Skinner reinstated.
Playing hooky, Bart sneaks onto the Quimby Compound and is the only witness when Mayor Quimby's ne'er-do-well nephew Freddy allegedly assaults a snooty French butler.
But if he comes forward, he will be punished for truancy. Burns and Grandpa Simpson compete for the affections of Marge's mother.
The more dashing suitor prevails, but in a scene straight out of The Graduate, Grandpa crashes the wedding just before Mrs. Bouvier becomes Mrs. Homer teaches an adult education class on successful marriage, but his students show little interest until he starts telling them juicy details of his marriage to Marge. Furious, Marge kicks Homer out. Stuck in his room with a broken leg, Bart hears a high-pitched scream. When he looks through his telescope, he sees a guilty Ned Flanders burying the evidence.
Lisa feels threatened when a new girl moves to Springfield: Allison is smart, pretty, a great saxophone player and a crack diorama builder. Lisa tries to befriend her new rival, but she's consumed with envy and competitiveness. After reading the weepy best-seller The Bridges of Madison County, Marge sits down with the family and recalls romantic moments, along with temptations from her bowling instructor Jacques and Homer's coworker Mindy.
Backed by a cabal of Republicans and the talk radio blowhard Birch Barlow, Sideshow Bob runs for mayor of Springfield. When new mayor Bob decides to build a freeway right through the Simpson's' home, Bart and Lisa set out to prove the election was rigged. In "The Shinning," Homer becomes groundskeeper of Mr.
Burns' isolated mountain mansion. Next, in "Time and Punishment," Homer tries to fix the toaster and winds up traveling through time.
In "Nightmare Cafeteria," Principal Skinner finds an ingenious way to reduce overcrowding in the detention room and deal with cafeteria budget cuts. Smitten with Reverend Lovejoy's daughter Jessica, Bart tries to reform to win her heart -- but what she really wants is a bad boy. When she steals the church collection plate, Bart finds he's in over his head. When she nearly flunks gym class, Lisa is forced to take up a sport. She's a natural at hockey, but things get complicated when her team faces off against Bart's.
In a tense moment on the ice, sibling rivalry melts into sibling loyalty. When Homer gropes for a gummy candy stuck to the babysitter's pants, she mistakes his intentions and turns the town against him.
Grandpa Simpson's miracle elixir reinvigorates Homer and Marge's sex life. When father and son embark on an old-fashioned medicine show to sell the love tonic, they rake in the money, but eventually old resentments bubble up between them. When they try to go on vacation, the family discovers Marge's debilitating fear of flying. Marge consults a psychoanalyst to find the source of her baffling fear.
Homer joins the secret society of the Stonecutters and is suddenly exalted when the brethren discover his birthmark. The ancient order is shaken to the core by the ineptitude of its new Chosen One. The story of Maggie's birth is told in flashbacks: after Homer quits the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant to pursue his dream of working at a bowling alley, Marge reveals that she is pregnant. When Bart is forced to assist Principal Skinner in early-morning astronomy observations, he discovers a giant comet heading towards Springfield.
Facing impending doom, the entire town shows up at the Flanders family bomb shelter. Krusty the Clown's reckless spending forces him to open a clown college to keep afloat. New graduate Homer discovers the perks and perils of being Krusty. After Bart's prank phone call to Australia goes awry, the Simpsons must fly out to the land down under and apologize to the Australian people.
When they discover Bart's penalty will be a kick in the pants, international relations deteriorate. Homer must turn to his sisters-in-law for a loan. Relishing Homer's degradation, Patty and Selma make him their slave. But when the sisters are caught smoking on the job, Homer reluctantly covers for them, saving their jobs. Meanwhile, Bart is late to sign up for a gym class and must take the only class still open -- ballet.
Springfield plays host to a film festival. Among the contenders for best film: Barney presents "Pukahontas," a haunting meditation on his alcoholism; Mr. A fortune teller foresees Lisa's future marriage to an upper-crust Harvard classmate. After a series of embarrassing incidents, Lisa comes to realize that even though her family may not be classy, she loves them the way they are.
When Santa's Little Helper sires a litter of puppies, Mr. Burns adopts them, secretly scheming to use their pelts to make a fur tuxedo. When Bart and Lisa confront Mr. Burns, he relents and turns the puppies into racing dogs instead. Realizing he preferred the old regime, Bart locks Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel in a room together until they can agree on the contract. Lisa is reunited with her idol, Bleeding Gums Murphy, but their time together is short-lived.
After Marge helps catch a petty criminal, the adrenaline rush inspires her to join the Springfield Police Department. Marge experiences feelings of power and authority that she's never known before, but police corruption makes her question her newfound calling.
The simmering rivalry between Springfield and a neighboring town heats up when Shelbyville kids steal Springfield's prized lemon tree. In Part One of this two-part suspense story, Mr. Burns' evil schemes go too far.
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